A comprehensive guide to the stupidest ways people have gotten in trouble at St. Francis
It’s no secret that everyone has gotten in trouble at school at some point. Whether it be for handing in an assignment late, talking during class, or anything in between, we’ve all been there. But that’s not what this article is about. Instead, we’re gonna talk about the most creative, unnecessary, and just flat-out stupid ways people have gotten in trouble at our school. So anyway, we’ll start off by talking about brownies.
For our first example, we have to go back a few years, as this story takes place during lunchtime, but this wasn’t any ordinary lunch day, no, on this day we had brownies for dessert. Everyone at the school loves these things, so it’s no wonder people would want more than one, and this was exactly our first victim’s, we’ll call him John, biggest mistake. After he finished eating their lunch, he probably thought to himself, “nobody’s watching, I could probably take a couple more brownies for myself”, but little did he know, someone was watching. Unbeknownst to our victim, he “stealthy” made his way over to the dessert section and picked up some brownies, “not too many” he must’ve thought, but little did he know, he had picked up one too many brownies, and the teacher, who had still not revealed themselves, was silently watching this crime unfold. And just when the student believes they have made it back to the safety of their table, the teacher makes his move. The victim stops eating immediately as they notice the head of secondary standing next to them, completely silent and unmoving, glaring down at the student’s tray of brownies. “Eight brownies…” the teacher said. The student wouldn’t dare reply. “Eight… brownies…” the teacher repeated. John has no idea what to say now. “A bit greedy, isn’t it” the teacher left John with these words as he returned to his table. While John didn’t really get in trouble here, since there were no real consequences, it is still something he remembers to this day.
For our next story we have to go back to Valentine's Day of 2020. This is a very special and important day for a lot of people but that wasn't the case for our next victim, we’ll call him Mark. To begin this story Mark was sitting in class, probably bored, waiting to go home at the end of the day, when suddenly a friend of his spills water all over the tables, no one remembers how or why the water had been spilled, all they knew was that the damage was done. That is of course unless they could dry the table and surrounding notebooks quickly. So Mark, and his water spilling friend, who happened to be a girl, dash out of the classroom and into the nearest bathroom, which happened to be the girls restroom. In the heat of the moment Mark didn't think too much of it, he was just going to help his friend get more paper towels, but of course, he had no idea this would be the biggest mistake of his life. In the room right next to this bathroom lies a teacher, one who sees a boy and a girl run into the girls bathroom together, on Valentine’s Day, and assumes the worst. By the time Mark and his friend return to the classroom, this teacher storms into the room claiming that what they were doing was inappropriate. Nothing could defuse this teacher's wrath, logical explanation after logical explanation, all shot down by this teacher's fury. There was nothing Mark could do except reluctantly accept his punishment: a Saturday detention. It is safe to say that Mark learned his lesson to cause any trouble whenever this teacher was around.
For our last story, we have one final victim, we’ll call him William. Now what you have to understand about Will is that he’s somewhat of a jokester, the class clown type, and he’s just come up with his best idea. This story begins at a tutorial session, a few years ago. Will is joking around with some of his friends when he decides to set his master plan into motion. He begins by making sure none of the teachers are paying attention, they aren’t. Next he draws some attention to himself, but not too much. He succeeds once again, and he is finally ready for this joke's punchline. He turns his back to his friends and pulls his pants down. I will never understand why Will did this, or why he thought it was a good idea, all I know is that he got a laugh out of his friends for a brief moment, which means his plan was successful. But this story isn’t over yet, because there was one crucial part of his plan that he overlooked: his friends' reactions. This of course alerted the teachers of Will’s wrongdoings and they soon apprehended him. This little joke cost William a week-long suspension, but unlike the other victims we’ve talked about, I don’t think he regretted it. And he definitely didn’t learn his lesson because he did it again like 6 months later.
Regardless, that brings us to the end of these stupid stories. I hope you enjoyed my classmates getting in trouble and making fools of themselves as much as I did. I hope to continue writing about other students' antics in the future, so everyone please remember to misbehave and let loose a little bit this year.