Valentine's day is meant to be a special occasion: A moment to celebrate love with your significant other. Unfortunately, for many it is a synonym for self-doubt and insecurity when it comes to a relationship. It is not uncommon to see people conforming to relationships which are often toxic and abusive. This valentine's day, reflect on whether your partner is truly the one. Carefully read the 10 signs that he/ she SHOULD NOT be your valentine and decide whether your time is worth spending with this person.
Your valentine doesn't make time for you
There's a notably big difference between not having time and not making time. Even the busiest people can make take some time for their partners. Everyone knows that Valentine's day is reserved for the special person in their lives. If he/ she doesn't dedicate time towards you on this one day, move on as he/ she doesn't treat you the way you deserve! Better things are on their way!
He/ she takes hours to reply to your messages, or doesn't reply at all
We all know that one person that we want to respond rapidly as soon as a message drops in; such act shows interest. However, if the person on the other side of the screen doesn't feel the same way, it maybe is time to reconsider whether this valentine is truly the one.
You need to beg him/ her to hang out, to see you, to spend time with you
Begging means that you are practically forcing your partner to do something they initially didn't want. If the person doesn't want to see you, there is something going on... Don't fool yourself, one sided relationships don't work out…
One minute he/ she loves you, the next he/ she blames you for everything
Unfortunately, sometimes we are blinded by love and fall victims to toxic relationships. Although we might be absolutely right midst an argument, we will ultimately end up apologizing and conforming to whatever the other person thinks. If he/ she raises his/ her voice or uses you to discount his/ her problems on in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, he/ she definitely shouldn't be your valentine and not even your close friend.
He/ she puts effort on everyone but you
If you feel as if he/ she has time to hang out with anyone but you, things are not adding up, as his actions are disproving his words. If he/ she really loves you, YOU should be his/ her ultimate priority. Don't fall for the "I love you, but..."! Additionally, for the times you both manage to plan something together, being on time is a sign of respect and being late means you’re not important enough for your partner to prioritize your agreed- on meeting time. On the long run, see if there is a pattern with regards to punctuality, it conveys a lot about your partner.
He/ she doesn't want to take you out in public or talk about you with his/ her friends
It is not a good sign if your valentine desperately tries to hide your relationship, ensuring no one finds out about it, and refuses to introduce you to his/ her family and friends. No matter the reason: whether it is because he/ she is ashamed, embarrassed or uneasy being with you in public, then, you shouldn't be with him/ her. Saying "one day I will, don't worry" is an empty affirmation. Making excuses is one of the things you need to pay attention to, too many might indicate the person you consider your valentine might not be the one.
He/ she asks you to change things about your appearance
Relationships should be based on essence and not on appearance; cliché but totally true. If your partner asks you to change aspects of your look, including basic things such as making you gain or lose weight, wearing makeup or not, or cutting your hair a certain way, REMEMBER: you are not his/ her property, he/ she has no right of controlling you. You do you. If this is happening, he/ she is not with you because of who you are, but for your looks instead, making the relationship superficial.
He/ she is overly jealous and possessive over you but in turn does things that inevitably make you jealous
A relationship must involve respect, and possessiveness demonstrates the opposite: it puts him/ her in a superior position and in a pedestal above you enabling him/ her to have control over you. Prohibiting you of going out with your friends or alone is an example of the possessiveness he/ she might impose. If this is getting to you, either have a serious conversation to put both of you on the same page or move on. Humiliation is unacceptable in every way and shows your supposed valentine is senseless and you shouldn't be with him/ her.
He/ she compares you with other girls/ other boys
Your valentine should never mention other girls/ other boys and point out things you lack during your conversations if it makes you feel insecure about yourself. This conveys that he/ she doesn't have eyes only for you, which might indicate he/ she is unhappy with the relationship and looking for something else. Time to move on!
You are afraid of what he/ she might do when he/ she is out alone
Uncertainty and fear expose trust issues. Trust is the root of every relationship, and without it, everything can go downhill. Focus on this aspect, it is crucial.
Were you able to relate to any of the situations above? If so, Valentine's day is the time to reconsider the path your relationship might be taking, you might be losing time! Remember to prioritize your own happiness, with that on top everything else will work out!