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The Art of Being Single

Updated: Feb 20, 2019

Different times of the year provokes us into thinking we are more lonely, especially during ‘The Engagement Season’ (from November to February). It is inevitable that during that period, we think about our life choices and decisions, leaving us wondering: “Why am I still single?”.


We are often pressured by those around us, whether that is our family or friends, into getting into a relationship. If the question “anyone new we should know about?” is familiar to you and driving you more and more insane, know that you’re not alone. When we tell people that we’re still single, they assume there is something wrong or that it is upsetting us, leading them to quickly reply “don’t worry, someone will show up soon!” as if being single is something dreadful. These comments and assumptions make us feel like the only solution to happiness is being in a relationship, further fuelling our insecurities about ourselves.

Being single should be something worn with pride and honour, but instead it is frowned upon by others. Most of our personal growth is discovered and mastered by us when we are single, as we are able to put ourselves first and understand who we are.


When in relationships, some people may behave differently around their partners or even change to be someone they’re not. Take this time to yourself and understand what you want. Set goals, and focus on other aspects of life such as school, work, understanding what you want for your future, getting to know new people, attending places you wouldn’t be able to attend if you were in a relationship, and many more. After all, being in a relationship may be fun and exciting, however it is definitely not the most important thing in your life and should not be a major concern.

Still not following? Below is a guide that will help all the single readers out there to master the art of being single:


Mastering the Art of Being Single:


  1. Being alone DOES NOT mean being lonely: Live in the moment, go out with your friends, revel in your singularity. If you would rather stay in on a Friday night watching Netflix or reading a good book, that is perfectly fine as well. Being single means you’re allowed to do whatever you wish without having to please anyone but yourself.

  2. Make the most out of your time out with friends: Enjoy parties, nights in, do only girls or only guys activities that you wouldn’t be able to do because it would ‘bother your significant other’. Enjoy being single. Don’t make it a ‘waiting room’ until you get into a relationship.

  3. It is not about being in a relationship. It’s about finding someone you honestly click with: Our generation is progressively becoming a ‘loveless generation’. It’s as if we are unable to talk to someone we find interesting without having second intentions. Or worse: chasing after someone with a goal in our heads, rather than just approaching the person because of his or her personality or because (s)he if fun to be around. You are not obligated to be in a relationship with someone just to prove to others that you have found a partner. It should be a natural process and when it happens, it happens. Don’t push anything if it’s not meant to be.

  4. Social Media is a toxic and false way of knowing what is going on in other people’s lives; and displaying your personal life to others: People will post pictures with their significant others, display hundreds of hearts in the captions, or write about how they are so lucky to have met the perfect person. Keep in mind that you will never see someone publicly announce that they just had a fight with their partner, or that they are feeling insecure about the direction their relationship has taken or how one of them is even considering breaking up. Also, by seeing so many people posting about their significant others, we can’t help but compare ourselves and our personal lives to those in a relationship and often assume that we are not as happy as they are because we don’t have a ‘significant other to share our nights with’. We may even tend to think that someone else’s success is our own failure, which could not be further away from the truth.

  5. Being single can also mean you have a lot of time to spare; be productive with it! After all, being in a relationship should not be a priority to anyone, we should be dedicating ourselves more to school work, personal improvement, and being comfortable in our own bodies rather than chasing after a temporary lover.


Being single is as easy as it seems: be enough for yourself, understand what makes you happy, and meet new people while you’re at it. Live in the moment! Taking this time for yourself will also result into finding out exactly what you want for your future relationships. Don’t be pressured by others and know that you are what it takes to be happy.


 

Bibliography:


“Mary Karr On Writing Memoirs: 'No Doubt I've Gotten A Million Things Wrong'.” NPR, NPR, 23 Sept. 2016, www.npr.org/2016/09/23/495161071/mary-karr-on-writing-memoirs-no-doubt-ive-gotten-a-million-things-wrong.


“The Art of Being Happily Single.” Tiny Buddha, 19 Sept. 2018, tinybuddha.com/blog/the-art-of-being-happily-single/.


“The Art and Psychology of Being Single.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/experimentations/201808/the-art-and-psychology-being-single.


Hicks, Elizabeth. “The Art of Being Single.” Humans, 5 Nov. 2017, humans.media/the-art-of-being-single-1.


Janeksela, Jacklyn. “15 Hilarious Things About Third Wheel Extravaganza.” TheTalko, TheTalko, 1 Apr. 2017, www.thetalko.com/15-hilarious-things-about-third-wheel-extravaganza/.


Fanpop, Inc. “Barney Stinson Fan Art: How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 2 ‘The Pre-Nup.’” Fanpop, www.fanpop.com/clubs/barney-stinson/images/32357169/title/how-met-mother-season-8-episode-2-pre-fanart.

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